We're having a baby

This week marks my 37th week of pregnancy. My baby is officially considered full term, and the thought that I could give birth at any moment is constantly on my mind. This has been an interesting experience for me. The first trimester was rough. I had horrible morning sickness and lost a significant amount of weight. The second trimester I started feeling a little better, and had slightly more energy than I did at first. Now into the third trimester...I don't feel sick, but I feel heavy, like it's just difficult to stand up or lie down, or walk. My back and my hips hurt, I'm tired all of the time. I have also been having problems with my blood pressure being too high. I have a feeling when I go for my appointment this week that if it is still too high, he will want to induce. I probably shouldn't say this, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings in the least if he did. There are parts of being pregnant that I love. I love feeling my son's kicks, and rolls and pokes. It's a feeling like none other. The idea of being a mom makes me happy, and I am excited about it. I am not so excited about the whole process of giving birth. I have horrible anxiety and I have a low pain tolerance. If I have to be in pain, my anxiety goes up and I panic. I also have a fear of surgery and anything resembling surgery. I know having a baby is not surgery, but I am wanting to get an epidural, and even that scares me. I have decided that it will tremendously help with my anxiety if I don't have to feel everything, but the thought of not being able to feel the lower half of my body freaks me out. The whole process freaks me out. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up with a baby. I know that is unrealistic and is not going to happen, but it's still nice to think about. I can't wait to meet my little guy though, so I know that no matter what, the baby and I will both be fine, and it will all be worth it.